My relationship with breastfeeding has always been a series of love and hate.
There are days when I feel like it is the best and noblest thing to do. Then there are times when it meddles with my sanity, sending me into a whirlwind of doubts over my decision to go through with it.
Getting less but better sleep
Getting baby to sleep means one thing: I’m the only solution. It doesn’t matter if I have tonnes of other things to do, or if I’m in the middle of a sweet dream – everything has to come to a halt when baby demands the comfort of my bosom.
There’s truly nothing out there that can replace breastfeeding. But breastfeeding has drained my energy to the point of wanting to give up, especially during the first few weeks of baby’s arrival.
Ironically, I’ve discovered that breastfeeding in the middle of the night actually helps me get better sleep.
I do have less sleep time, but at least I don’t have to leave the comfort of my bed to prepare milk and risk being half-asleep while doing it.
Ever since we learned the art of nursing while laying down, my sleep time has also increased for the better. The oxytocin rush that I experienced every time I nurse my baby also contributes to better sleep. It’s a warm, cozy feeling that helps me relax and transports me deep into lala land.
Going up on the bosom, going down on the scale
Yes, in most cases breastfeeding does makes you go up a size. In all honesty, I resent it.
For one, I struggle to find new innerwear that’s comfortable and pretty enough to make me feel good in it. My favourite old pieces started to turn into unfriendly beings, poking my skin here and there, and no longer being “supportive”.
Secondly, I’m not a fan of the disproportion. It can get quite uncomfortable especially when the milk fills up. There’s nothing fun about having a heavy top; it just makes me feel miserable.
Breastfeeding apparently helps a mother lose weight. But how can breastfeeding mothers lose weight when their top is bulking up?
Obviously I was not really buying into it. But, I’ve recently found it to be true.
Just like any regular mother, I fuss over my post-baby body. I’d do anything to have my pre-baby body back. After a long stretch of procrastinating, I started eating healthier and exercising again. I watched the scale go down surprisingly faster than I expected. Breastfeeding apparently burns more calories.
Here is the best part – burning extra calories means I still get to enjoy my favourite food with less guilt. I mean, full-fat milk with my hot chocolate? Yes, please!
Mind the outfit, never mind the bottle kit
Granted, ever since I breastfeed I can blissfully ignore the pesky bottle washing routine. I particularly dislike this because I’m obliged to put some effort into making it squeaky clean for baby. It’s exhausting, considering my perfectionist nature.
I also can happily say goodbye to the bottle kit that I need to carry around whenever we leave the house. Bottles, water flask, cleansers – good riddance!
But with that, another worry came as a replacement – in a form of my closet. I find myself standing in front of my full wardrobe, worrying about what to wear.
“No, this one is will show too much skin”
“This one will take forever to lift”
Yes, all those thoughts that made me end up wearing the same nursing attire again and again, while trying my hardest to style it up with different accessories every single time.
Albeit a comical affair, I’ve survived six months of breastfeeding my baby. This too shall pass, just like other woes in my motherhood journey.
What baffles me is that if another baby comes, I’ll let myself do it all over again.
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Ayuni is a mum to an effervescent 4-year-old daughter and a newborn baby. She’s currently juggling motherhood and a full-time job while trying to be the next domestic goddess. She blogs about life, parenting and her homemaking endeavours at Mommy Confessionals.
Image Credit: Flickr user Roberta Zingg.