Julia Wykes, a mother from Ottawa, was breastfeeding her five-month old son at a Starbucks when a middle-aged lady complained to the barista there and insisted that he asked Wykes to stop as it was “disgusting”. Instead, the 19-year-old barista offered Wykes a free refill and a voucher for a free drink while apologising to her for the unpleasantness she suffered, a commendable act which was surprising for a young man (as opposed to the older woman one might have expected to understand) who appreciated the benefits of breastfeeding.
Karlesha Thurman who nursed her baby in public at her graduation from the California State University, Long Beach and posted a photo of it on a Facebook page got mixed reactions, some of which were negative and thought what she did was inappropriate.
Singer-songwriter, Pink, was breastfeeding her 15-month-old daughter at a restaurant when a man who saw her said, “Ughh” and was clearly disgusted. Unfazed, she retorted, “You didn’t get enough hugs when you were little.” Just one of the many celebrities who support breastfeeding and breastfeeding in public, Pink believes in fighting for her right to feed her baby whenever and wherever she wants.
If some people from countries like the US and Canada are unable to accept breastfeeding an infant in public, how would a country like Malaysia that places importance on modesty in women, frowns on bikini wearing and has Muslim women who cover their hair regard it?
Why offensive at all?
The question one has to ask is why breastfeeding a child is seen as offensive at all. After all, it is one of the most natural things in the world, for a hungry infant to suckle from his or her mother’s breast. The problem lies in the sexualisation of the breast in the media, namely advertisements, girly magazines and in movies. When one associates the breast with the sexual act, the act of breastfeeding suddenly becomes taboo as well, to be done only behind locked doors.
Mary McFadden in The Circular states that the decreasing number of breastfeeding women due to the introduction of formula milk has resulted in fewer pictures depicting a woman nursing her child, unlike paintings centuries ago in Europe, for instance. The only places you might see exposed breasts now tend to be in girly magazines, and a sexual association is made so that the primary function of the breast is forgotten and only its sexual one is remembered. This point of view could make mothers nervous about breastfeeding in public, according to McFadden.
Are we ready?
So, are Malaysians ready for mothers to nurse in public? The answer, according to Jennifer Hor, registered nurse and midwife and parenting educator, is both yes and no. There seem to be differences in rural and urban environments, where in the former, breastfeeding in public areas, such as the airport, is accepted as long as the mothers are discreet and don’t draw attention to themselves with colourful covers although there is usually no skin shown. “In urban areas, people tend to be more curious, making mothers more self-conscious, although if nursing is done discreetly, people still do not pay much attention,” says Hor. However, there might be more negative reaction towards nursing toddlers in public as opposed to infants, as some tend to think that toddlers are too old to be breastfeeding.
Gina Yong, founder of The Breastfeeding Advocates Network, an open group on Facebook, thinks Malaysians are ready for breastfeeding in public as it is usually accepted if no skin is shown. “Malaysian mothers tend to be very discreet and modest so sometimes no one really notices if a mother is nursing in public anyway,” says Yong. However, Yong states that unofficial data indicates that in Malaysia the rate of exclusive breastfeeding until three months is at around 20%, which means that the number of breastfeeding women is low. A higher number of women who breastfeed might lead to more women nursing in public, hence normalising the act.
No problem… as long as covered
Ayuni Zainuddin, breastfeeding advocate and HypnoBirthing practitioner, feels that Malaysians will never be ready for bare-all breastfeeding although she says Malaysians do not have a problem with breastfeeding in public as long as mothers are covered. “Malaysians typically don’t bother you if you are discreet. If a mother is self-conscious, she would naturally think that all eyes are on her and judging her. The trick is to cover yourself and proceed. Business as usual.”
Nelsa Fernandez, mother of two, says she usually has to look for a place where there are not many people so she can breastfeed comfortably as her son does not like nursing covers. “I sometimes get stared at when I breastfeed in public”, she says, and wishes that people would be more informed about breastfeeding and its benefits for the baby and mother so they would be more accepting of it.
Julia Lim, mother of two, feels that support from family and friends is important for her to feel more comfortable about nursing in public. “Some men attend prenatal courses about breastfeeding and yet are still ignorant about it,” says Lim. Men and women who aren’t exposed to breastfeeding friends or family may find nursing in public offensive simply because they think of it as “sexual”.
Our culture has women covered up
Tay Siew Chin, mother of one, says one incident made her decide that she would only nurse in public with a cover. She was having lunch with a friend at a restaurant where a Caucasian lady was nursing her baby without a cover, drawing attention from the waiters who ogled at her and smiled inappropriately. “There shouldn’t be any form of sexual excitement when a man sees a mother nurse her child in public. I think it’s because our culture generally has women covered up so when a woman exposes some part of her body, men get excited,” Tay says.
Shirly Chaudry, online business owner and a mother of four, feels that Malaysians do accept breastfeeding in public. She nurses without a cover in public although she is discreet and chooses a place to do so where there are not many people around. There are breastfeeding support groups that also help to encourage mothers to breastfeed in public and that in turn may help Malaysians to understand the importance of breastfeeding and change their perception of it, opening their minds, says Chaudry.
In Malaysia where women are mostly covered in Muslim garb and encouraged to dress modestly, the act of breastfeeding that exposes too much skin is unlikely to be widely accepted. However, it’s encouraging to note that most people are accepting of a mother nursing in public when it’s done in a manner that is as casual as eating, which, when you think about it, is what it is – a hungry infant seeking to assuage her hunger.
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